ok. so sitting still is the hardest thing ever. everybody told me i would find clearity if i sat still. i tried. i did....i swear. i am just so much better moving around and finding clearity in aftermath or in my motion.
so its been almost 2 years since my split with dillan. it feels so much longer than that.
anyways, that was my last dishonest attempt at monogamy. i tried with linds. but i was honest with my inability to committ. i have dated a gazzilion people in the last two years. yet i keep coming back to one.
is it possible that i just needed to be shown that the women that fit into my ideal concept of who my partner will be, do not believe in polyamory. i am the problem. my inablity to conceptualize monogamy is ruining my relationships with women.
i believe that if i continue to walk foward and attend to the things in front of me. i will seek more truth and find stability in the uncomfortable expectations of monogamy.
