new motorcycle. **that i dont have yet**

i am going to test ride it.

ironic

Sardonicism.

Pornography is a testimony of the expression of human sexuality. I believe that censorship of erotic work is the supervising denial of certain elements of human sexuality, and a tool to control selective portrayal of “expected” sexual ideals. Representation and consumption of material depicting of any sexual or nonsexual act between consenting human beings is essential to a free society. I do not intend to explore the genre of pornography, although I believe it will be crucial for me to reference these concepts and ideas; from and about the pornography industry to make an intellectual beginning on my stance and purpose.


I believe in the moment where fantasy meets desire. There is a very fine line as to where a transgendered individual may find that connection of desire. When I am having sex with a woman I identify as male, and in that moment my desire to have my dick inside her is overwhelming and anything else is unsatisfying.


Through video I explore this idea of desire and impairment, the lose of connection and enable a place for that contact to be found. Previously I have made performances based upon my struggles with identity and my attempts to find balance within that battle. My intentions and expectations for this semester are to re-edit my pornography, “I Want Your Dick Inside of Me.” In that editing process I intend to find motivation and desire to make a new pornography based upon the same image.

jamie. james.

tuesday night.

aquarium. akira. zen noodles. funky buddha. continental. clarkes.

we met these two austrailian boys at funky buddha. dean and jacob. amazing!

ashleys bday. 8.28.07.

12-6am. kingdom come.

motor.cycle.

gone.


my motorcycle got stolen.

bites.

breastfeeding.

get ready to be disturbed.

asofterworld.com

click on them. please.

ox-bow. last friday night dance party.

my dreams mean nothing

without their variety. what ever your character may be. i dont care how much ones pride or judgement. when such dreams are seen in a place like there. where trees live alive and undisturbed and docks have breathe and emotion is established. no persons brain is so dull and no beautiful eye is blind enough. every episode of life is full. we just have a fucked up perception of what fullness looks like. there is no truth in unmarked. or empty. there is suggestive meaning in everything. and here it is.

ik marvel.

inspired from "dream life" by ik marvel.


this is what i would be doing if i wasnt present in this moment. there would be shreds of feeling larger than you. brambles and roughness of the worlds that have been left entwined to my heart , and plaited between soft tissues of glass. only if the universe had been a little less rough. perhaps my heart would be feeling more deeply.

when i'm only making mention of something so secretive, as i am here, i expect no response that they will be reached in full heart's capacities..who is to tell me that my heart has reached full capacity, exhausted the equity of my feeling. it is true that i only have one heart. but every time i fall it creates a new combination of feeling; that like the turn of a kaleidoscope will show some fresh pigment or structure.

but with commitment comes a habit forming feeling that denies the sensual bliss of newness. this habit also challenges omnivorous seize of affections. there will be no variety of pulse.

where does fear allow for failure. will i be proven that my very truth is impossible to obtain. that monogamy is the only approach to divine happiness with another. or do i belong a lone in that reality.

she is beautiful. and worthy of all i can say.

ox-bow #4

amazing. tragic. unbelievably scandalous.

ox-bow #3

meredith/jamie sands. my soulmate. my kindred spirit.

these pictures were taken before all hell broke loose on the western front.