Damnoen Saduak Floating Market and ancient city pronounced u.t.i. like urinary tract infection.

i am unable to upload pictures as of now.


today we were picked up at 730am by our private driver and tour guide. which cost us both 110 US dollars and was worth every cent.

we were taken to the floating markets an hr and a half away. i drank coconut juice from a fresh cocunut and ate fried bananas. saw poverty in lengths i have only read about and seen in bad movies. there were beautiful lush greenery as we motorboated on a "long boat" down a river for 45 minutes. gray green water. houses on stilts. i kept thinking of them as tree houses. i want to live in a tree house. i want to build a tree house. sidings built of found metal and wood. clothes and pans hanging from outside being washed in the gray green river. children swimming and waving as us white privildged fucks rode by and starred and/or took pictures of there poverty in apathy.

wat. our tour guide. was increbible. knowledgable. and well educated.

he and i discussed buddhism. his practice. my practice. i have only been here 3 days but since then i have felt threatened or shamed by my own personal practice. i feel like my practice of buddhism is some fake americanized version that i read in a book. he shared his experience of buddhism and the history and knowledge he knows. he validated and affirmed my uncomfortable thoughts. he explained to me that all he thinks buddhism is is meditating. the concsious moments of meditation. the solice of mind. the stillness of body. the connection to oneself. we also talked about the christianity and the shame and guilt that comes with not practicing or sinning and the ideas of having to repent and/or ask forgiveness. i shared a little of my experience being raised christian. he told me like many christians in america people in thailand say they are buddhist but do not practice. they will go to temple once a year and pray. just like my idea of christians and christmas.

we paid and were suppose to ride elephants. we got there. NO WAY. i'm not riding a chained up elephant with a dress on; carrying people around a cement grounded "temple ruin"... some of the elephants were wearing dresses and some were sprayed with pink and blue dust to look "pretty". torture. i will not participate in that. for some reason i saw it being these beautifully well treated majestic animals from nature riding us around THERE homeland. that was not that case. we took horrific pictures of there awful treatment to show you all....and some video footage as well. but there was no riding nor enjoying............................................................................


i have decided what project i'm gong to work on while i'm here in asia.

what perfomance can i do here that relates to my work yet gives me the space to explore my environment and identity here?

i decided that i will make an endurance performance piece...which not in art language means that the video i will make will be about me enduring somethign over time.

i am giong to video myself 10 minutes everyday meditating in different places. wether it be my room of stay, outside, or among people

as a finished piece i see each meditation being sped up and shown as a continum on a wall.

thats all i have so far.

let me know what you guys think of that. kean.obrien@gmail.com

more tomorrow.
thanks for reading. and giving a shit. ha.

siam niar

i insisted we go to this thai opera/performance. the stage/set looked beautiful.

we were picked up from the hotel and driven there by one of their vans.

we got there were forced to wear lily corcauges (do not know how to spell that) then forcefully pushed next to some gorgeous thai woman and our picture was taken.

escorted to a banquet hall where there was a buffet of food. and round tables of people. we were seated and then up came a family of four that were sitting in the other seats.they hated us....hahaha. awkward conversation was made. then i decided our only mission was to evacuate immediately. so i just got up and left and waited for lindsey to follow. it was quite possibly the most awkward thing ever. but amazing. a moment to remember.

we then walked around the "thai village" that had been created. we decided that this whole siam niar world must have costed somebody 40 million dollars to built. there were 500 actors and staff. and these elaborate winding paths that inclulded stops that showed old thai methods of dying fabric, weaving, and cooking. there was even a fake river 200 feet long that took you in a circle on a little wooden boat. the man running the boat was for sure the tiniest man i have ever seen. we loved him. i gave him 20 bat.

after walking around seeing people get rides on elephants in this tourist constructed hell. i made the executive decision that we had to leave. there was no way this show would be remotely interesting or worth me not sleeping for.

we paid for this package. a ride, dinner, the show, and a ride home. so somehow we needed to get them to drive us back to the hotel for free. so i told lindsey to wait by the glass outside as i told the lady "hi. excuse me. my friend is very ill and we need to go back to the hotel, the radison, immediately" she asked me if i wanted to come again tomorrow to see the show. i said very abruptley. "no. just a ride to the radison" she said sure. and then we went.....

away from tourist hell where money was wasted in a country that is so much needed on every street corner. starving children and people everywhere. infants being held by there mothers while begging for change.

instead we went to sleep at 830pm and now its 445am and i'm awake and ready for the day.

i have had jet leg before. never like this. a whole days change of time.

im constipated and hungry.

day 2. bangkok. thailand

ok here was/is my day.

first day in bangkok, thailand.

went to sleep at 415am. woke up at 735am.

free amazing breakfast on the 24th floor.

conceirges desk was extremely helpful and helped us plan the next two days we have here in bangkok.

today, saturday, we met some irish chicks and shared a taxi to the grand palace. at first i thought it was for sure the tourist destination from hell. after paying 250 bat to get in i was amazingly suprised. the outside of the palace was magnificant. it looked liked a child covered the whole thing, by hand, with colored gems and sequence. after reluctantly removing my shoes (i am deeply obsessed with the shoes i was wearing and was terrified they would get stolen) we walked into the temple. i immediatley ditched lindsey and worked my way to the front where people were knealing and praying/meditating. i found a comfortable position next to a orange garbed wearing monk and meditated for 20 min. forgetting everything that seemed important 30 minutes before. i cried in the reality of my location. also at the reality of my spiritual condition in this location. i am buddhist. i have identified as that for a few years....one of the few things i will actually "label" myself as. and being in a buddhist temple where the alter was so large and so beautiful...confirmed my spiritual beliefs. i was no longer reading buddhist literature or meditating on my bed or in my living room floor. i was meditating in a space where everybody understood. the purpose was the same. i cried and the woman next to me touched me as i cried. held my hand in understanding.

oh yeah. the irish girls we met convinced us to go to cambodia. so we are.

then we went to the outdoor markets where i was at first overwhelmed by the dirty crappy shit people were selling. after 15 min of walking around we found the most beautiful markets where there were beautiful jewelry stores, clothing stores and orchids. we stopped at a wonderful whole in the wall and ordered vegetarian salad. which was essentially soppy noodles with some lettuce we couldnt eat (because we cannot eat any vegetables that have water in them from the ground...we also cant eat anythign uncooked...only bottled water, and cooked veggies, rice and noodles). the salad cost 1 US dollar.

there are taxis here. but then there are tuk tuks. they are golf carts that are made to go 50 mph. hahaha. they are death traps. we took them. we loved them! we took one to the market and realized then we were riding in the equilvalant to a motorcycle with no helmet in downtown chicago.

then on the way back from the market we took another one. um. he decided to take the freeway. big mistake. it was truly like riding a motorcycle on 90/94 with no helmet, swerving in and out of traffic. i was grateful to be alive at the end of that.

then we ate at the hotel. pizza, pad thai, and french fries. yum.

we are staying at the radison. totally nice and wonderful. our room is an amazing suite. with a huge bathroom with a seperate shower and tub.

we got massages. ok.....so i have gotten thai massages in LA before but oh man. there are no body limititations here. they dont even bother covering your body. you are just naked the whole time. there hands massage your breasts freely and roam way too close to your geniitals. as the woman was massaging my breasts she looks me dead in the eye and says "you have a very strong body....like a man. manly body"....this is after she has commented and touched every single one of my tattoos and asked me about each one. i love her.


on that note. bangkok is the number 1 city in the world for sex reassignment surgery. there are "ladyboys" male-to-female and "trans" female- to - males everywhere. being a masculine woman or a trans identified person is not only respected here but admired.


tonight we are going to a thai opera.

and tomorrow we are waking up at 645 to go to the floating markets 1 1/2 hrs outside of bangkok. then to ride elephants and then to a beautiful buddhist temple outside of bangkok.

hopefully i will have the time and energy to load pictures tonight.

chicago-----------------tokyo

we left at 945am for ohare airport. our flight was at 1255.

12 hours later we arrived in toyko, japan.

we are now waiting for mechanical problems to be fixed. a 4 hour delay.

im drugged up and cranky.

soon we will be in thailand.

all i'm bringing

i leave at 4pm on the 27th for bangkok, thailand

i come back jan 25 from hong kong, china

this is all i'm bringing.

filled with love.

bracing relief

from finals and complications.

litho prints

ooooohhhh siccky